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Sunday, October 2, 2011

pickpocket- III

                भेन्चोद: Never ever in my life did an expletive of that capacity sound so euphonic. I was enthralled at the detailed answers he gave to my nominal, terse queries. And the singularly pronounced expletive served as an icing on the cake.
The cuss word conceded he was going to be friendly. And hence, I was in the safe zone.

                तू क्या करता है ? He asked me nonchalantly.
ME: मैं engineering की तैयारी कर रहा हूँ (I'm preparing for engineering)
HIM: तो लोंडा engineer बनेगा, (so, the lad wants to be an engineer) 
I gave him a customary smile.

               HIM: भेन्चोद तुम रईसों का सही हिसाब है,  होशियार  हो  तो doctor, engineer बन ही जाते हो ...बुद्धि कम हो तो बाप का पैसा ...अरे, तुम्हारी तो रद्दी भी सोने के भाव बिकती है ...शादी में माल लौन्डिया मिले,  और माल मिले वो अलग ...(Motherfuckers...You rich people...Your futures are secured...intelligent ones become doctors, engineers; and the ones blessed with less grey matter inherit their patriarchal wealth...your faeces also sells for the price of gold...marriage provides you for a beautiful chick and the dowry is the icing on the cake)


               To an extent, he was right. And so, I could not retort to the ire he had sufficiently showered me with, predicating me as the sole representative of the rich-folk. Besides, I was in no condition to take an offence either. So, I decided to look at his friendly side instead-  the fact that he called me a bhenchod, that too, in good capacity.

I turned to him with an very interested and amused gaze-

ME:   तू कहाँ तक पढ़ा है ? (How long did you go to school)

HIM: पढ़ाई में तो ठीक था मैं l  हिन्दी, अंग्रेजी सब first class  थी ,  बस गणित ने गाँड मार ली l (I was good at academics...espcially literature...but mathematics was a menace to me)

भेन्चोद भिन्नें देखते ही पेट  खराब होने लगता था …और  हर  सवाल  में भिन्न  भिन्न  प्रकार  की  भिन्नें ….
अरे  भेन्चोद !  ये  तो  अनुप्रास  अलंकार  बन  गया …(Equations never suited to my health...and every question used to have various equations)

              Now, अनुप्रास अलंकार is a technical term in Hindi literature, and hearing it was a pleasant surprise.
I did not have a propensity for mathematics as much I had a penchant for literature, especially Hindi.
I promptly nodded my head and chuckled, giving him a familiar look. I could well identify with him, at least in academic matters. Besides, I was secretly marveling at his intelligence (read grasp over the Hindi language)

              फिर ?,(then) I asked, genuinely interested; my curiosity going a notch higher.
फिर(then)…He paused for a moment, lifting his head a bit.
कक्षा आठ  में  मास्टर  की लोंडिया से  इश्क  हो  गया l और  मेरा  बाप  पराई औरत  के  संग  भाग  गया l मताई  अकेली  पड  गई …
बस  वहीं से  मेरा  पतन शुरु  हो  गया …(fell in love with a teacher's daughter in class eighth...and my father ran away with a neighbour's wife...my mother and I were deserted...thus started my downfall)

I could see his face turning pale as he said that.

                Some moments overwhelm you in such massiveness that it is hard to express your feelings in words. And here I was, with a heavy heart, grappling for words. I felt like burying myself, then and there.
I mustered up some courage to look at him and say something.
I observed he was thinking, as if reminiscing his past, and decided not to disrupt him.

After a while, suddenly his face lit up; and, in a very soft tone he spoke-

               भेन्चोद !  लौन्डिया  थी  बहुत  प्यारी  वो l भक्क  सफेद … छू  लो  तो  निशान  पड  जाए l(she was a really beautiful chick, skin plain white, so soft...touch her, and she'll melt..)
हंसती  थी  तो  गालों  पे  गढ़ढ़े  पड़ते थे  l बाल  हमेशा  उलझे हुए l(Her smile accentuated the dimples on her cheek...her hair always messy)
एक  लट हमेशा  परेशान  करती थी उसे l कभी - कभी  वो  फूंक  मार  कर उडाती थी उसे……(a strand of hair used to fall over her cheek...and she would blow it with her soft lips) 

मास्टर  था  तो बहुत  पैसे  वाला, तीन मन्जिल की कोठी थी उसकी…लेकिन… लड़की  होने  की  वजह  से  उसे  सरकारी  स्कूल  में  पढ़ाता था  और  भेन्चोद  लौन्ड़े को  इंगलिस मिडियम में  डाला हुआ था l(her father was rich, he lived in a huge bunglaw...but because she was a girl he had put her in a municipal school and her brother in a highbrow convent school)

सारे  लौन्ड़े  इन्टरवल  में  खेलने निकल जाते  थे,  और  मैं  क्लास  में  बैठ कर  उसके  बाल  कंघी  किया  करता था l(In the lunchbreak i used to comb her hair)
…"तेरे  ये  बाल  काट  दूंगा  किसी  दिन” (I'll cut your hair someday, i used to tease her)
“…जा जा...  गणित में पास  हो  ले  पहले … बडा आया बाल काट्ने वाला …तेरे चक्कर में हर बार मेरा पेपर छूट जाता  है …”(and she'd say, go and improve your mathematics, rather than thinking all day about cutting my hair...I can't finish my maths paper just because of you)

               एक  दिन  मैं उसके लिए वो पतली वाली राकेट-नुमा कुल्फी ले कर आया l क्लास में कोई नहीं था l(one day I brought her that slim, rocket shaped ice cream. The class was empty)
…”वाह  जी  वाह …बाप  से  पैसे  चुरा  कर  कुल्फी  मैं  ले  के  आया  और  मज़े  तू ले  रही  है …थोडी  सी  तो  चखा  दे” …
वो  वोली- “हिम्मत  है  तो  बिना  छीने  चख के  दिखाओ …(I said, How mean you are...I bring you an ice-cream with my hard stolen money from my dad, and you can't even give a bite. She said, If you have guts then take a bite without snatching it.)

फिर (then)?
फिर... मैने एक  हाथ से  उसका  सर  पकड़ा और  दूसरे  हाथ  से  उसका  हाथ …और  थोडी ही  देर  में …(I held her by her head, ...and within no time... )

दुनिया  में  सिर्फ  तीन  चीजें नज़र आ  रही  थी  - उसके  होंठ , मेरे  होंठ , और  बीच  मैं  बेचारी  एक  पतली  सी  कुल्फी …कुल्फी  तो  सिर्फ एक  बहाना  थी …(It were only three things in this world- her lips, my lips, and an ice-cream between them...ice-cream was just an accessory to touch our lips)


फिर ?(then)
फिर  क्या  था , कुल्फी  वाले  का  रोज़ का एक customer और  बढ़  गया …(then, the ice-cream seller got a new regular customer in me)


फिर  एक दिन मास्टर ने हम दोनो को कुल्फी खाते देख लिया...(and then, one day her father saw us having the ice-cream together)

और  फिर सब खतम हो गया , सालों ने मुझे स्कूल से निकाल दिया l(...and then it all ended...they expelled me from school)

...to be continued...

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